I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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