I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
