Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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