Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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