bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
