You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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