hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Everyone says I win the strip club
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
