This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Randomize
