She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
