Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
