All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
