So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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