We're like a lot better than the average bears
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
