Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
