so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
