I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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