Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
