i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
