Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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