you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
All the doctor said was why
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
