And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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