Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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