Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
