Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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