Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
