youre lurking in front of me
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
And then he peed in my hair
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