your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
