Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
