Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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