So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
