i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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