Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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