Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You were trust falling into bushes
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
