he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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