Can Purell be used as lube?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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