it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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