oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
