i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
