i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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