The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
