Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
