let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
