the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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