Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
