Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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