the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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