I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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