I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
