I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
