Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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