You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
